Life To Death And Back Again
Danny's Story
Methamphetamines, meth, crystal meth, shards, shardonnay, ice, stayup, speed, and the list goes on. These are just some of the names of an extremely addictive, stimulant that took over my life for eight months. Most everyone that will read this knows what meth is. Some people that read this have done it. Some people that read this may be on it now. This drug has become an epidemic. An epidemic is a widespread occurrence of an infectious disease in a community at a particular time. Meth is an infectious disease in this community. It is rapidly and effectively ruining people's lives, it is taking over this community with a quickness. I found out first hand how quickly it will take over you. I found out how quickly it hurts you and everyone around you. Then, I found out, with help, how easily you can overcome it. This is my story.
My ridiculous roller coaster of drug abuse began in late January 2004. A few weeks earlier my mom and brother had gotten in to a car wreck, and my mom had broken her neck. She had just gotten out of the hospital, but was bed ridden for a while. You never realize how much a mom does until they can't do anything. I was really stressed out by this tragedy. I was also a full time student at Kennesaw State University, commuting twice a week, and I worked almost 30 hours a week, when I wasn't at school. At that stage in my life I couldn't handle everything that was going on. I also didn't have enough time in my day to get everything I needed to do, done. I needed more time, and I also needed a release for my stress. I needed something to ease me, something to take my mind off things. So I made my first phone call that started it all. I had just gotten off work one day and I called a friend of mine that was on meth. I told him that I wanted to try it, I asked him how much it would be, and where I needed to go to pick it up. That day I spent $50 dollars on my first half gram of meth. He taught me how to smoke it, so I smoked it. I have a really addictive personality, so it took that one time to get me hooked. I started spending $50 dollars a couple of times a week. Within a matter of weeks I was spending $100 dollars a couple of times a week. I was also staying up a couple of nights a week. I started getting less and less sleep, so things in my life began to lose priority over meth because it was so easy to do. The first thing that went was school. I was telling my family that I was going to stay with my sister, who lived ten minutes from school, and I would go somewhere else and do ice. I did this on Monday and Wednesday nights. Then I wouldn't go to school. I ended up only going to about four class periods combined out of my four total classes that I was taking. See I thought I could sacrifice school. I felt like I could just make it up later or something, and it wasn't paying me to be there. That's why I kept working, but that suffered as well. I was always completely exhausted at work. To the point that I would go to the bathroom, set my alarm clock for fifteen minutes, and take a nap in the bathroom stall. I would do this three or four times a day. I was falling asleep at my desk, in meetings, and everything. It finally got to the point to where I would have to do some before work, and during lunch just to make it. So now it's been a few months, and I'm spending close to $100 dollars a day. I couldn't afford that so I got this girl, that I was really close to at the time, to try it with me one night. She loved it so we started splitting the cost. Well this was great for me because now I could spend all the money she had on it and I would still have my money. When she got on it, I got even more out of control than I was. I started doing stupid things. I was trying not to get caught, but I would leave my paraphernalia in places my parents could find it. I was not staying up for two or three days at a time, and I quit my job. I was getting involved with a lot of drug dealers. I would smoke a bowl, driving through downtown Calhoun if I thought I could get away with it. I was smoking in the bathroom at my house, and my bedroom. I was smoking in parking lots in town. This led to my first and only arrest. It was probably one in the morning and I was supposed to be in Kennesaw sleeping because I had school the next morning. Well, I was in Calhoun instead. I had met someone at the McDonald's to by some, and me and the two people I was with just went behind the Hampton Inn to try some out. The security guard caught us and before we knew it we were on our way downtown. Then something crazy happened, and I got another chance. When we all got to the police station, everyone at the police station started talking about what happened and me and the girl got let go. I call this, God's attempt to set me free number one. So my parents came and picked me up from jail, and took me home. I can't even imagine what that phone call must have been like for them. What sucks was the fact that I didn't really feel bad for my parents at the time. I was just really worried about when I was going to get to get out again to do it. It was a couple of days later, but then we spent $250 on it. We bought two and a half grams. It lasted us a few days and then we got another, and another, and another. We were spending $500 or $600 a week. We had to start taking money from people. We were basically never sleeping, and I also want you to notice something. I haven't talked about eating at all. That's because I didn't. I would over a week without eating, drinking, or sleeping. I don't know if you know this, but that alone can kill you. At this point I had probably been on it for six or seven months, and it was taking a toll on me. I had lost fifteen or twenties pounds, I was pale, I had dark circles around my eyes, I had horrible acne from the drug, I wasn't myself anymore. I walked around like a zombie, I never smiled, hardly ever laughed and joked around like I used to. My parents didn't know me. My friends didn't know me. I didn't know me. I wasn't myself anymore. Then my body started giving me warning signs that it didn't have much left in it. I started seeing things from being up for so long. I started falling asleep at the wheel. I was driving down the interstate with my friend one night. I was driving down the fast lane, and we both woke up when I drove on to the shoulder on the other side of the interstate. Oh, and that was after I cut off a car and a transfer truck. I just started passing out. I would be up for so long that my body would just shut down for a period of time because that was the only way it was getting rest. I got to where I had smoked so much that walking up a flight of stairs caused me to need rest. I would have to lie down on my bed and catch my breath, and get my heart to stop hurting. I started getting severe leg cramps from the dehydration. Also, I could be anywhere and my whole body would just go numb. It was the weirdest feeling. Then on July 20th, 2004, after completely abusing my body for eight months, God said, "You are done." He said, "You are killing yourself, your mom, your dad, and you are done today." It was four in the morning and my dad walked in to our pool house to find me and a friend doing it. That's what it took for me to be done. I handed him the drugs and the pipe, and just started to pray. I started thinking about everything my parents did for me, and that this is how I repaid them. I repaid them with lies, and deceit. I had to be done. I felt like I had no more chances, and that was fine because I didn't need anymore. It was time to get things turned around in my life. I knew that the best way to do that was with God. I had already found him, but I had strayed away. So I called my best friend, and admitted to him that I had been on meth for eight months. I told him that I needed help, and asked him for it. Within two hours, him and three more of my friends were at my house, ready to help. They came with the love of God. They came with the love of brothers. They knew exactly what I needed. I needed my eyes to be opened to the truth. The truth of my situation, and the intensity of it. How easily I could have died and probably almost did. That day I received God's help, and I put myself on God rehab. It's probably the most affective form of rehab. I haven't done meth since July 20th, 2004. I didn't even have withdrawal symptoms. I just needed to sleep, and eat, and eat. I think I ate close to 30 pounds of food within the first five days of being off. After this I moved to Kennesaw. I knew I had to get away from everything to stay away from everything, and God provided me with a house. In a couple of weeks, I didn't talk to anyone from Calhoun besides my immediate family, and my brother's girlfriend. There was no need to. This is what I had to do to get out of my lifestyle. If God wanted someone else from there in my life, they would be. Then he blessed me with hundreds of amazing, and selfless friends. The type of friends that most people die to have, one of, in a lifetime. This is because I had finally turned back around to receive God's blessings. God wants to bless us and see us prosper. It says in Jeremiah 29:11 it says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future." He doesn't want to see us lost and wandering in darkness. I was the lost sheep that Jesus talks about in Matthew 18:11-14. There are 100 sheep and when one goes astray, the Shepard, our Lord, is more joyous when that one returns than he is over the 99 that didn't stray. I lived like the prodigal son Jesus talks about in Luke 15:11-32. I knew my Father, and I left to enjoy the things of the world. In the process I ended up so low that I was "eating with the swine." Then I realized my I had to quit living that way, and I came running home. My Father was there waiting, and watching for me. Waiting to give me back the life that I left. That's what God did for me. He also showed me how amazing parents are. He showed me how parents are so much like Him. They saw me hurting, just as He did. They wanted to help, just as He did. They did what it took to get me out, just as He did. They forgave me, just as He did. They loved me no matter what, just as He does. If you are on the same path as I was, there is a way out. You can be freed from your lifestyle. A lifestyle that will lead to certain death and destruction. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it is certain. Though, it is a death that can be escaped, but before you can escape it, you must hate it. You have to truly want to get out to get out or you will just go back to it. If you need help, if you want life over death, please contact: